I'm New Here!

“Hi! I'm New Here!”

Introduction:

That's what Ryan's first T-shirt declared! "I'm new here." When you're new, you need special care. You need an Ambassador, an advocate, a support system, and a caring team of people who recognize your value and commit to laying a strong foundation that will help the "new" person grow strong, healthy, and gain the kind of independence that helps them lead when their opportunity arises!

When our children are young (and new), it's our responsibility to ensure they are properly nourished. Like mother eagles, we bring the food that will help them grow strong. We secure their environments to make certain they are safe. We cover electrical outlets. We place security locks on cabinet doors. We swaddle them properly. We wash our hands and sterilize their bottles. We even cover their hands to make sure they don't accidentally scratch their young, sensitive skin.

We listen for every cry. We hook up monitoring devices, read the labels on clothing, and carefully introduce foods to make sure we can quickly check for signs of allergic reactions. We treat them like they're young and we don't expect them to eat a steak dinner when they are only a few months old. We don't scold them when they drop food the first time they hold the spoon. We laugh and encourage them to keep trying. After all, they're new here!

When do we stop understanding that they are new with every year of growth? Why do we suddently begin to expect more of the "new ones"? When do we start believing they can do more than is developmentally possible for a two-year old. We need to apologize for every instance we mouthed the words, "Terrible Twos"! These new ones are trying to find their way in the world and it's our job -- our sacred duty - to help them navigate safely and securely.

This year, Ryan celebrated his fifth birthday! How much time do we as parents research the average skills and mental processes that we should expect from someone who is five years old? How can we keep ourselves from unreasonable expectations? How can we build intentional developmental experiences that will take into account that the "new" five-year-old may not get it right the first time! As a matter of fact, they may fail miserably at their first attempt. They may demonstrate unacceptable behaviors or break stuff and rules. Are we prepared to encourage them to fail again...to try again...even if it embarrasses us, inconveniences us, or even disappoints us?

Our willingness to expect missteps, mishaps, and even beginner's lucky first endeavors will spur our new leaders on to greater works. You are your child's first experience with failure, and you will govern how they see themselves as they navigate life's challenges. You're the inspiration they need to maintain their self-worth. You're the keeper of their psyche and the cultivator of their faith in themselves, in others, and most importantly, in God.

They're new...from the nursery...to preschool...to college...and even when they begin to serve as Ambassadors for their own "new babies".

With that said, here are 5 things you need to do to urge your "newbies"! 👊

1. Set reasonable expectations.

Grab a book or engage with a mentor who can help you better understand what's reasonable for your child at each growth stage.

2. Establish Your "Ambassador" time.

Carve out the time you need to advocate, mentor, and teach. Do this intentionally. Don't just hope it happens. Create a schedule for your child that will help you be present and available.

3. Become an authority.

Read. Read. Read. And create an individual development plan for your "newbies". When I was pregnant with Alyssa, a friend gave me a great book, "What to Expect When You're Expecting" by Aileen Et. Al. Eisenberg. It was a lifesaver. The book provided guidance for each phase of my pregnancy. Now...there were quite a few things that weren't covered in the book...like my fall down a flight of stairs or my near crash on an ice-covered bridge...but it certainly helped me through the basics. When I wanted to panic, I would call my mom, reach for my book, and pray for God's help.

When Alyssa was born, I quickly picked up the companion book, "What to Expect the First Year". I was so scared as a first-time mom who lived away from her parents. Again, the information was invaluable...but then something happened! I stopped buying the book. While writing this blog, I discovered there were follow-on books, "What to Expect the Second Year" through "What To Expect When Your Child's Expecting"! Wow! I could certainly have used that last one!

You can never stop learning from the experts, from your own experiences, from trusted medical providers, and from learned family and friends. Just remember, you don't know it all and you'll need a village to get it right!

4. Share Your Expertise With Others.

When you learn something new, the best way to really solidify that knowledge is to share it with others. Each one teach one should be your mantra. Find ways to impart your new found knowledge and also find ways to build upon what you've learned.

5. Take some much-needed time for yourself.

Connect with our advocates who can help you pour into yourself. You need time too! Can I give you some advice? You're NEW too! You are on your own individual journey to personal growth and development. You are being groomed for greatness. You are experiencing new ideas, new experiences, and even new challenges. For you to grow, it's important that you give yourself grace, build a team of grace-givers, and establish a sure foundation for your future